25 Marketing Tags That Don't Make Sense But They Work

May 22, 2020 18:30 · 979 words · 5 minute read opinion

25 Marketing Tags That Don't Make Sense But They Work

I am going to list down the marketing tags from my observations, their natural meanings and how they don’t make sense.

Tags 🔗︎

  1. Your one-stop-shop: you should be able to buy everything in a specific domain but when you ask them whatever you feel like, they will say sorry but you should come back to visit them again.
  2. You have made the perfect decision: it's like you have entered into heaven, now you will be protected from all evils.
  3. We are available 24/7 or around the clock: especially within the businesses that try to grab someone's attention by claiming their supernatural abilities, they immediately fall trap of customers complaints and over expectations.
  4. We have a dedicated team: it is clear as the sun during daylight, they want more projects and shall keep wanting more, hardly say no to a hopeless tide.
  5. Our skills are unmatched: it's like they were the only ones on earth who had access to the learning materials in their specific domain.
  6. Skyrocket your income or earn a six-figure income from the comfort of your home: as if every other human being was ignorant of their secrets alien philosophies to do the wonders.
  7. The secrets to do this and that: try running a search in Google, their secrets were repeatedly exposed and Google found them under a few milliseconds.
  8. The most powerful or valuable: they were the only ones on earth because the term most is only used in this literal meaning.
  9. The international or multinational traps: they or their team might have not even worked with anyone beyond borders, or it's their first time to talk to someone in a specific country where they are pitching themselves for the first time.
  10. Based somewhere in the USA or Canada: since they have some access to friends or family in the countries where people would put their trust, they will use their addresses and buy Skype credits to make calls.
  11. Creative nerds: the newbies who just started out to experiment with their theoretical and observatory knowledge shall admire themselves secretly. Above them are the people who would still support their less-seen creativity.
  12. League of experts: here we see the experts and specialists of all sorts, from digital to SEO and content to copywriting, their generic abilities combined with their passionate thinking holds their attention so still that their focus dignifies their self-proclaimed-state of calling themselves the experts.
  13. League of entrepreneurs and CEO's: they literally made it to buy a domain name and install WordPress theme on it, now it the best time to announce it and get likes across social media.
  14. The beautified attractions: with the hairstyles to posing their untouched mighty selfies, they will break the Photoshop if it deems appropriate to their liking, let them attract you from every aspect left in their handsomeness.
  15. We are always here for you when you need us the most: the complete opposite is often true when you wait in the queue to resolve your most immediate concerns for the services that you have paid for.
  16. The on-paper claims: they will write things on their website, not by themselves, but copy what the standard websites did to make sure they also comply with the best standards possible. This one the trick in practice.
  17. We are using AI: believe it or not, they mostly just used the most repeated flows of a topic to then create an interconnected chart or sometimes a simple backend help centre search runs their chatbots, their use of AI was only the codes on the backend of that flow.
  18. We are the pioneers: if you ask them who came after (because they omitted former ones already), they may just wasn't knowledgeable yet.
  19. All in one guide, tool, software and article: you will get a lot of questions along the way when you are on those "all in one" traps, they will have to be answered by a support agent who wants your call back number or email address to sell you something.
  20. Highly professional staff trained in fields: their staff is pretty on the face, while the skills they own are literally often bitter than a small freelancer who is earning hard money to get through and train himself to eventually grow himself.
  21. Our staff is satisfied with our policies and work environment: their staff is so political that they even backbite against each other in the same office and hide their real faces, let alone their company policies poisoned their minds.
  22. We follow the best practices or highest standards: when you visit them, their alerts given to them by their boss a few minutes before were the face seen by you. Otherwise, most of their staff may not recall what's written inside the book of standards.
  23. We are certified of this and that: their certifications will most easily make you fall prey except when you see their real work.
  24. You are in now safe hands: now you could go blind and follow their call to action, this is it.
  25. The best price, benefits and things guaranteed: they will guarantee as if they can risk their life on it. Later on, they will tell you "promises are meant to be broken".
  26. Bonus point: this idea is unique, clean and original as this was the first man who invented it on earth: they definitely took inspiration and tweaked it.
  27. Bonus point: we top in this and that: let alone their business was started in the year before they are coming in your office to pitch you their story.
  28. Bonus point: the a-z of this and that: let alone it was easy for them to make a title except they didn’t really make it through.

Tips to avoid 🔗︎

  1. Use your prudence
  2. Test, learn and move on
Side note: if you were one of those marketers who is now injured or feel upset, please follow the tips to avoid.